judgement day

The door opens just that little bit; light comes in.  Mistakenly I think it is all the light there is and celebrate the end of darkness.  Later, the door cracks open further and more light comes in. I marvel at the increase in understanding that light brings, as shadows gain clarity and tepid becomes warm.  Life goes on with my self-congratulations; trying not to feel smug, trying not to feel that I have some higher platform or view from which to studiously not pass judgement; to share wisdom.  A painful experience may occur; I reflect, I ponder, and accept some responsibility in the transaction - and I realise the door has opened further and I have been standing in the twilight, when I thought it was daytime. Sadly I realise the door is still mostly closed, and my journey is new.  My soul may feel old, but my awareness is nascent. I strive to accept; but I judge, judge and judge again; even as I speak and speak and speak about not judging.  I may as well be pointing, with those three fingers, back at me.  Everyday is judgement day, and everyday we have the capacity to open the door just a crack further. Or do we pretend all our work is done?